Sunday, December 4, 2011

It's been a while.

Well, I haven't written in a while.
Didn't have a specific reason, really. I started school, things got really busy, and the Internet became a matter of little importance. I also realized that little people if any were reading, so I never felt much need to write anymore.
Today I'm writing because the semester is over tomorrow, and I'm in a mood. Last night I did something stupid that I knew would throw me into a low mood, but I did it anyway. And now I'm stuck. I'm kind of done being overly dramatic like I used to. No one else in my life (or general public, aka Facebook) really needs to know I'm upset, so I write about it on a blog no one reads.
First I'd like to give a little update.
I'm still a non religious heathen.
But. I do believe in God, in my own way. He's still very present.
I went to church a couple Sundays ago to see some friends and they talked me into singing for Christmas, which I agreed to because I miss singing so much, but they also immediately thought I was back because I came to one mass. I'd like to trash that stereotype.. I'd like to not be considered Catholic, but still visit a mass every so often to see my friends.
That's my thoughts on that.
So I'm not gonna lie, I really am in a pretty low funk right now. I took a nap earlier, and I woke up just feeling stuck and sad and like I just didn't want to do anything. I'm putting off studying for my last two finals, kind of hoping maybe I can improve my mood enough to motivate myself. I hate these mood swings, and I hate knowing that my own behavior caused it. Damn. That's what impulsive mania will get you. Then crash.. Regret.
Sometimes I hate having morals.
Well, I'll end on that note. Goodnight.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Lauren,

    I honestly don't know how I came about your blog, but you're a pretty cool person. Just want to say that I feel for you. Bipolar sucks.

    I get deeply intrigued when I read about blogs influenced by religion (in one way or another). Guess this comes from my own struggle to figure it out.

    Anyway, if you want to talk, my e-mail is Love to hear more from you :)