I officially left the fuckin catholic church tonight. Man. It feels good. But fuckin horrible. But GOOD. I feel so fuckin free. I went in there, fuckin sure, you know? I'm fucking doing this. Nothing will stop me, I made my decisions and it was MINE, no one is fucking changing it. I made my own fucking decision for once. Because damn they tried. And I respected that, god they care.. It hurt me. To hurt them like that, cause they truly think I'm doing something bad. And they love me so much that it hurts them. So they tried, hard, harder than I thought they would, and it sucked, and eventually I just stopped talking, and several times I second guessed myself, but my mind just kept saying "no, fuck this, you made your own decisions, stick to it." and I fucking did, first time ever. I don't remember the last time I stood up for my own decision, didn't let myself be swayed.
Doesn't change the fact that this fucking hurts. Hard.
My support group.. Fucking gone.
Nothing will ever be the same.
But shit, something had to change.
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