What's right?

So, what if I was born into Buddhism? Or Hinduism? Or Judaism? That would feel right to me, it would be right to everyone around me. Right? That would be the right religion. It would feel right to me, it would feel like my god is telling me to stay there. So how could I ever know that Christianity is the right religion? So I just, by chance, was born into the right religion? How is that even possible? Just cause I was born into it, just cause half of the people there were born into it, it's right? Forget all the reasons anyone else converts to it. Maybe someone tells them it's right, maybe they need something and the comfort is there, the people are there, at the exact time they need it. Catholicism is so known for their holier than thou fucking attitude. It's the right religion, with all it's traditions, it's bread and body, it's icons, it's terrible past that no one there seems to want to see.. the corruption. The huge, beautiful buildings and churches in Rome that could feed so many if they were sold. But does anyone ever realize how many people are just born into it and never leave cause they don't care enough to try anything else, or question it's validity? It's all bullshit. There are Catholics who care so little that they stay, and noncatholics who care so much that they leave. Why is that? Why be a Catholic your whole life if you don't give a shit? I'd much rather be around a nonbeliever who cared enough to look into things and discover his take on the world than be around a Christian who doesn't even care enough to ask who Christ is, what he was like, and if he existed. They'd be surprised to find out that he's nothing like what a lot of them are like. They're too scared that maybe there's something scary in truth, so they stay in ignorance. Comfort.

Questioning is SACRED. And if you question, you'll find answers that maybe you don't want to see. But it's so much better than not knowing anything. I question everything, because that's what we should do. Why do atheists know more of our bible than we do? They study it, question it. A lot of us take advantage of it. But to them, it's a tool. It's funny how much more useful it is to them.

Doubting is a way of life. It's human nature to doubt, we will always doubt, so why wouldn't we doubt a higher power? It's one of the most unbelievable things in this world. When we see a magic trick, we ask how it works. Look at the teachings of the church. It's all magic tricks. Water into mine. Multiplying fish. Curing incurable diseases. Raising the dead. Ask how they work, please. I feel so much happier being open minded about such things. I've been doubting for so long and never wanted to acknowledge it for fear of finding something I didn't want to see.
"And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity to be offended by those who doubt His existence." -Bertrand Russell

Here's what I think. So long ago, things like gravity couldn't be explained. There had to be a reason things stayed on the ground, right? There had to be a reason we came into existence, right? Oh, someone else must have done it. A higher power, a God. And then science came along and said that gravity kept things on the ground. And that evolution brought things into existence. Even though religious people will still argue that it was creation until they die. Men lost their faith over those findings. Because it shook the foundation of religion. But science didn't kill religion. It didn't make religion impossible, because how can you prove something's nonexistence if it's got the majority of the world following it already? No, it made irreligion possible. It made it possible to see that there are explanations other than a higher power. I believe I got that from the Steven Weinberg segment of the Atheism Tapes. No one can be blamed for coming up with their own ideas.

I appreciate my idea of God much more than I ever appreciated the bible's view of God, or the church's view of God. I don't want to be afraid of God or feel like I have to be something or act a certain way to please him. He's just there, when I need him, he sees me as I am, loves me as I am, and if I ever were to doubt he was there, he probably wouldn't mind. He would still be there, he is unconditional love.

If every other religion is wrong, and everyone but Christians are damned, that just sucks. I mean really, that's stupid. And I just don't subscribe to that belief. So I have to believe that the important thing in life is to live a good life. But if every religion is right and the important thing is to believe in something, then shouldn't our higher power be what we want it to be, individually? If we need comfort to get us through life, then how can we find comfort in something we don't necessarily like? Regardless, there is no important thing. Life is just life. It's not about anything. You just live it, and then die. All you should really care about is being as comfortable as you can while you're here. If you die and you go no where but in the ground, then your memory lives on, don't be selfish and wish for a second life. If you die and go somewhere.. well fuck, we'll see what happens then. I honestly don't believe God is so cruel as to send a truly good person to hell for eternity simply because he listened to logic and asked questions and did research and did what felt right to him, and the result was that he lost faith. I'm just gonna go ahead and live life, do good cause I want to and not cause I'm trying to win a prize or get in good with the boss, and I'll see what happens in the end. Fuck it.

Oh and another thing that bothers me: atheist and agnostic people have morals. Religion didn't invent morality. We don't have to "borrow" it from God. We can have it ourselves. Atheists aren't all just pieces of shit who sit around plotting murder and raping women. They aren't all whores or drug addicts or alcoholics. I actually know a lot of Christians who do worse things and pretend they don't. That's so, so much more terrible. Don't deny who you are for a god and a stupid book of rules. You will never find happiness that way.

I believe in God, because I choose to believe in God.. there's a certain sense of calm in that for me, and I give my troubles to him each day, every time I feel out of place or out of control, I close my eyes and remember he's there if I want him to be, always will be, and I'm calm. But I'm not denying that it could have all been something man made up to explain what he didn't understand. Look at all the other religions of the world, all the other gods. We're all atheists to those gods. How do we know we picked the right one? And if your argument is that it's just a comfort to know that there's a second life, that there's a being looking out for us, guiding us.. maybe we don't all need that comfort, and maybe we should stop looking down on those who don't. Who are we to say what gives people peace, how they should live? Stop hoping they find something, start asking if you're just following the herd. Do what makes you happy, what gives you peace, not what people tell you will make you happy. If church is it, hey, that's cool. It's not for me, but I'm not one to try to change anyone's opinions. The thing that makes me disrespect and dislike religion in general, besides the personal reasons, the stuff that made me leave, is the wars it's caused and how it makes its members think they can judge those who choose not to live the way they live. Faith causes people to do things they wouldn't do normally, because they think God is telling them to do it. That doesn't mean I disrespect people who choose to go to church, as long as they still respect me and anyone else who has differing beliefs. I still really love everyone from my church, and miss them terribly. And I respect them for doing what they do, putting so much time and effort into everything and being so faithful. Some of them are the best people I know, the most caring and most beautiful people I've met. Those people are how religious people should be.. too many people think they can judge. And if church is what makes people happy, what feels right, then they should stay there. But keep in mind, what feels like god saying what's right might just be years and years of thinking that's what's right.

"Life is good. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid."
-Marcus Aurelius